Friday, December 18, 2009

Short Western Story

I could see a body less than a hundred feet away. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get closer or farther away. I decided on closer but was going to be darn sure that this was a dead body, not a live one.
Fort Laramie had been abandoned for three years and I hadn’t been there in fifteen, I thought I might meet up with a few ghosts from my past, hadn’t expected a fresh one with a body attached. I dismounted and pulled my Winchester from the saddle scabbard and started toward the body. It was gone.

There you have it a complete western story in 99 words. This is also over on my western's site--but I wrote it because I got to thinking and . . . . . . .

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Too Much Snow

Is it really only the middle of November? Here in the high country of Wyoming I have already scooped 30 inches of snow. Okay, I lied, I used my snow blower, sorry extremely green people but I am getting too old to shovel snow.
So—this begs the question, don’t you love it when someone says, “this begs the question?” Why do we still live here---Answer, because the rest of the year, it is fabulous.
So—how do I cope? Easy, I wear shorts and sandals year round.
* I turn up the thermostat to 80 degrees.
*I mow the grass even when it is covered with snow.
* I turn the heat on high or ultra high if I can find it, and drive the pickup around town with my windows down.
* I build snowmen and put sunglasses on them so they look cool and summery. Is summery really a word?
*And last of all (note how I cleverly did not say, last but not least) I go to Wyoming football games, set in the student section, take off my shirt, paint WYO on my chest and pretend like it is not cold.
No-Forget the last one—it was a lie.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

H1Old1 flu and other lies

Getting old is usually looked at as all bad. Now, finally, some good news for those of us born before most people, nineteen fifty, that is. We cannot get the H1N1 flu. Wow finally something good about being old. Today I am not feeling so good. Think I may have the H1Old1 virus.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Snow and Green Grass

Well—it’s October and that means snow in Wyoming and green grass underneath. I really hate this time of year, the constant scooping of snow from the lawn and garden so that I can mow and weed. Then more snow, more scooping and more mowing and weeding. I tried something a little different this year I duct taped (or is it duck taped—you know the gray silvery stuff) anyway, as I was saying before I so rudely interrupted myself. I taped with that gray shinny tape my snow blower to the front of my lawn mower, looks a bit funny when I do the driveway but works like a charm on the lawn.
Despite the snow (three times so far for a total of a foot of snow) my garden still looks pretty good. Why do the weather people on TV and radio now refer to snow storms as snow events? Despite three separate snow events my garden still looks pretty good. Of course most of it (tomatoes and onions) is in the garage. I pulled some carrots today and they were quite tasty, thank you. The rest of the garden really does not look so good, its mostly dead beans, dead peas, dead radishes, dead strawberries, dead herbs of all kinds (don’t like most of them anyway) and lots of dead flowers. And so as I started—Well –it’s October and so much for gardening this year.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

About Time

I have been absent for a very long time, naughty boy (oops, that’s a story I am working on for my erotica blog—no I don’t really have one). Here is the real story, I won the lottery, actually just a small state power ball and have taken the past four months to do some traveling. It is an unbelievable relief to have the money to do what I want, when I want.
My wife and I spent much of last spring in Australia and this summer in Europe and northern Africa, the whole trip was like an out of body experience. The past four months have been the best of my life. We are now building our dream home, how many people can say that? And yes, I have retired from my teaching and coaching career—more travel to come.
Daydreaming again, I wish at least part of the above was true—but sadly—none of it is. I have skipped blogging the past few months because I have been lazy. But I am back—look for more to come.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Keynesian Economics

We hear so much today about the economy and the trouble we are in world wide, reminds me of my old college days and my study of John Maynard Keynes, and his Keynesian Economics. All I remember is raise taxes when times are good to cool off the economy and lower taxes when times are bad to heat up the economy. If Keynes was right, he is dead now so we can’t ask him, then we should not have cut taxes during the high times we were all living with our MasterCard’s and Visas and times were good. Hummmm—Keynes also believed that government deficit spending might be okay in times of recession or especially depression. Maybe we are doing the right thing running around bailing everyone but me out of financial despair.
So I have been sitting around thinking some, I am good at thinking, and I believe I can solve this countries and maybe the worlds economic woes by doing the following.

1. Every Thursday is free day at Wal-Mart.
#2. All fast food, everything is .99 cents.
#3. Congress recesses until 2012
#4. Network and Local news shows—all cancelled—replaced by Looney Tunes.
#5. Take peanuts and pistachios off the endangered foods list
#6. Instead of giving millionaire CEOs a big bonus, just let them give each other a big hug and wish each other well and then let the stockholders have the bonus money.
#7. A chicken in every can of chicken noodle and a cracker in every barrel (I have no idea what that means)
#8. Slash Green Fees on every golf course in the world by 50% (this one is personal)
#9. This one seems simple—a jobs program that works. Jobs for those that can—where, maybe in some of the failed businesses the government may eventually have to operate.
#10. Some businesses will fail, let them fail and reorganize, if they are worth their salt they can make it. Not everyone is happy all the time—and everything does not have a happy ending.
#11. To save everyone a little money, let us, as consumers, choose what TV stations we want and pay for those. Skip the rest of the fluff.
#12. Required in every school—classes in manners, common courtesy, self sufficiency, basic economics, and appropriate language and dress. WOW I am showing my age on that one.
#13. Elect me, “the old guy that got to thinkin’,” President—I’ll take care of you—after myself of course!

Well there you have it; I may have been sitting and thinking too much.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

The Income Tax Return

I wrote on another site that I got a big Income Tax Return this year and was not sure how to spend it. I got several questions,,,,,, actually one,,,,, as to how I spent it.

I love it when I get a tax refund—but what to do with it? That is the Question? Sorry Mr. Shakespeare!

Now in the right hands $26.00 can be quite a chunk of change and in the wrong hands it can be used for great amounts of very evil stuff. So when you are talking, or is it just me talking, might be those voices only I hear coming back again? It takes more than just a little thinkin’ and decidin’ before time to do the spendin’. My spell checker hates it when I leave off the g at the end and use the ‘ instead. Well, just to keep Mr. Fancy Pants Spell Checker happy I will put the Gs back. GGG, there all three of them. Oh, great now it’s telling me that - GGG, there all three of them, is a fragment not a sentence. Well I like it as a sentence and will not be changing it. Please feel free to change it if you want to forward this blog to someone with good spelling and grammar skills.

Please find below the way I spent my $26.00 Federal Income Tax Return.

A down payment on a new house, Freddie Mac was happy to get the cash
I bought a thousand shares of General Motors
I washed my pick-up
Took a spring break trip to Nebraska—Oh, forget that one, we really did-family was well
Buried it in my back yard in an old Prince Albert Can (do they still sell Prince Albert)?
Bought my wife a rose and put it in a borrowed vase
Splurged and hired someone to mow the lawn—that one kind of backfired on me, it took all day to shovel the snow off first
This is the last one—no kidding—bought a new tire for my Pee Wee Herman style bicycle; they tossed in the air for free.
Hey a bonus humorous sentence. I spent it on dinner for four--------------At McDonalds.
Now I can hear you asking for more. I spent it at the circus. I know that is not funny but –get this—there is no circus here! Now that makes it very funny.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Number 44 Our new President

Today we have a new president number 44. I watched the inauguration and much of the additional coverage and was highly impressed with everything. If we could keep that same feeling of patriotism, togetherness and usefulness all year long everyone on earth would think—wow, they really are the greatest nation on the face of the earth.
Good Luck President Obama and God speed.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

John G Neihardt

Today it the birthday of the great John G Neihardt, I have read “Black Elk Speaks,” at least a half dozen times. As a kid growing up in rural Nebraska we were fed a steady diet of Neihardt and I am sure that, at the time, I did not appreciate him as I do today. If you have never experienced any of his stuff, take a look, what a great writer he was. He was first published at 16 and last published at 90, a remarkable career.

He is a word sender. This world is like a garden and over it go his words like rain, and where they go they leave everything greener. After his words have passed, the memory of them shall stand long in the West like a flaming rainbow. —Black Elk