-How to Save Money-
So you want to save a few bucks? First a few ramblings then the good stuff you really want to know.
The price of gas is going down— a station nearby has lowered prices twice in the past few days. All stations in our little city of thirty thousand are now under four dollars a gallon—whoop-e.
Two things stand out in my mind about gas prices, first when I had to raise the prices on the sign at the Texaco station where I worked in high school to thirty cents a gallon. Boss wondered if anyone would ever stop again. Second, when my dad said, “If gas goes over a dollar a gallon the highways will be empty, no one will go anywhere.”
Today we seem almost happy to have gas under four dollars. Everything is going up, except salaries it seems. The minimum wage did go, not sure what that means?
Now the good stuff—saving money, my six priceless money saving steps.
1. At the pumps—fill your tank only half full. That makes sense and will cost only half as much. And how do you really look at your gas gage are you a half full kind of person or half empty. Walking is good!
2. At the grocery store—carry one of the little baskets, no push cart for you and don’t go so often. Need more food, garden, what a concept exercise and food. Go on a diet and save money. All-ready to skinny, buy cheap stuff and exercise less.
3. Home mortgage—refinance with a lower interest rate. If you can’t do that don’t make any payments for a while and try to get into the governments new bail out program. If that doesn’t work buy a used RV for almost nothing and park in front of your neighbor’s house. Same neighborhood, nice.
4. Medical insurance—if you have it though the old job, great. If you are buying it on your own beware, there are a lot of scams out there. Pay by the month and don’t get insurance that wants all the money up front in unmarked bills. Don’t limp into an insurance office and expect a good rate. When you show up to an insurance office, suck in the gut, where larger than needed clothes, put your glasses in your pocket and talk endlessly about how much you like exercise and vegetables. It also helps to mention that mom and dad are both over one hundred and vacationing on a nude beach in Mexico, for a month.
5. Needing a new car—by large and save. If it gets less than twenty miles per gallon it will be on sale. Then carefully follow directions in number one above.
6. Investing or starting your own business—don’t. This is the wrong time and wrong place. Spend all the money you have take a vacation. No wait a minute that’s what I do, not always smart.
**** Want to know more about starting your own business and how bad you will fail? See my story at: http://www.helium.com/items/831316-satire-work?search_result=true